Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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