I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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