Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
