I wannas sexs uuuuu
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
