I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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