Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
