It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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