don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
