Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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