Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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