Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
