Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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