Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
