You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
