the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
