"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
