Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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