I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
