my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
too bad you live with your parents still
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
