ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
