like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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