i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
