I'm gonna have a badass scar
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
