She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
