operation have a gay friend backfired
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
