Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
