but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
