I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
