when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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