I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
