True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
