Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
