Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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