but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
