I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize