He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
