how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
