I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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