Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think people are normalizing furries
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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