my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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