you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
