ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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