the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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