So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize