Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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