My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
