READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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