The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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