I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
