you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
