I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he thought i was a dude.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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