Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
