u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
