Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
