an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
