New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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