Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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