Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
