then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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