Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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