But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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