How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
