Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He passed out mid-signature
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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