Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
