Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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