SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
