Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All I want is dick and wine.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
