how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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