nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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