maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
