I want to have your abortion
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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