my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
