he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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