There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
pray to the hookup gods
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
