high people should be assigned attendants
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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