So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
