Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
