I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do vagina's smell?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
