maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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