"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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