whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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