Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
