Whats the glycemic index on semen?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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