yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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